Does This Mean Youll See Me Naked Field Notes From A Funeral Director Book PDF, EPUB Download & Read Online Free

Does This Mean You'll See Me Naked?
Author: Robert D. Webster
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1402250835
Pages: 240
Year: 2011-04-26
View: 833
Read: 1033
With curious anecdotes and unbelievable truths, funeral director and embalmer Webster shares empathetic yet entertainingly quirky stories about the funeral business. He answers those embarrassing questions foremost in people's minds and provides readers with behind-the scenes stories of what really goes on after one dies.
Mortician Diaries
Author: June Knights Nadle
Publisher: New World Library
ISBN: 1577318579
Pages: 152
Year: 2010-10-04
View: 508
Read: 897
After 50 years in the funeral business, 80-year-old grandmother-undertaker June Knights Nadle has seen it all — at least all of what goes on before, during, and after life’s ultimate challenge. In Mortician Diaries, she combines equal doses of charm, humanity, humor, and reality to tell it like it is on this taboo subject. A kind of Prairie Home Companion set in a mortuary, the book features memorable stories of regret — “I wish I had kissed him on the morning he had the accident” — and renewal, as the lesson of facing life’s last great event is learned, or not. Some of the accounts here are funny, some sad. Some are haunting in their strangeness as they reveal the many ways in which people cope. Along the way, the reader is drawn into Nadle’s own life story as an unconventional woman who devoted herself to the dead and to those they left behind.
Mortuary Confidential
Author: Kenneth McKenzie, Todd Harra
Publisher: Kensington Books
ISBN: 0806531797
Pages: 234
Year: 2010
View: 983
Read: 555
From rookie mistakes and runaway corpses to screaming dead men and unusual requests, a collection of stories by funeral directors.
Author: Tom Jokinen
Publisher: Da Capo Press
ISBN: 0306818965
Pages: 288
Year: 2010-03-23
View: 513
Read: 433
At forty-four, Tom Jokinen decided to quit his job in order to become an apprentice undertaker, setting out to ask the questions: What is the right thing to do when someone dies? With the marketplace offering new options (go green, go anti-corporate, go Disney, be packed into an artificial reef and dropped in the Atlantic...), is there still room for tradition? In a year of adventures both hair-raising and hilarious, Jokinen finds a world that is radically changed since Jessica Mitford revised The American Way of Death, more surprising than Six Feet Under, and even funnier and more illuminating than Stiff. If Bill Bryson were to apprentice at a funeral home, searching for the meaning of life and death, you'd have Curtains.
Does This Mean You'll See Me Naked?
Author: Robert D. Webster
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1425956599
Pages: 188
Year: 2006-08-01
View: 1057
Read: 1155
A funeral director's behind-the-scenes story told with pathos and humor. You will laugh and you will cry, yet you will be informed and become a more prepared consumer. How people handle grief, why we send flowers, what really happens during a death call, the restoration process, what people include in their loved one's caskets, dealing with the clergy, how the undertaker's role has evolved, who pays on time and who doesn't, why we may see caskets on display at Wal-Mart, and much much more.
Down Among the Dead Men
Author: Michelle Williams
Publisher: Soft Skull Press
ISBN: 1593763883
Pages: 272
Year: 2010-08-10
View: 755
Read: 425
Michelle Williams is young and attractive, with close family ties, a busy social life . . . and an unusual occupation. When she impulsively applies to be a mortuary technician and is offered the position, she has no idea that her decision to accept will be one of the most momentous of her life. “What I didn’t realize then,” she writes, “was that I was about to start one of the most amazing jobs you can do.” To Williams, life in the mortuary is neither grim nor frightening. She introduces readers to a host of unique characters: pathologists (many eccentric, some utterly crazy), undertakers, and the man from the coroner’s office who sings to her every morning. No two days are alike, and while Williams’s sensitivity to the dead never wavers, her tales from the crypt range from mischievous to downright shocking. Readers won’t forget the fitness fanatic run over while doing nighttime push-ups on the road, the man so large he had to be carted in via refrigerated truck, or the guide dog who led his owner onto railway tracks—and left him there. The indomitable Williams never bats an eye, even as she is confronted—daily—with situations that would leave the rest of us speechless.
Who Put the 'Fun' in Funeral?
Author: Jan Tury
ISBN: 1456776185
Pages: 204
Year: 2011-05
View: 580
Read: 431
In 1980 Jan Tury started his working life as a funeral apprentice. After spending many years in the profession dedicated to helping others, an opportunity arose in 2003 that would change his life forever. Never accepting of an easy life embarked on a mission to succeed and prove to himself and others that ordinary people can and do make a difference. In this book he tells of the many challenges he faced with what was considered at the time a very guarded profession. Through the fullness of time he has also been privy to some of those priceless moments that have put the 'fun' in funeral. In writing this, it is hoped the reader will be all the more enriched and leave with a smile.
Nine Years Under
Author: Sheri Booker
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1592407625
Pages: 261
Year: 2014
View: 822
Read: 1245
A dazzling and darkly comic memoir about coming of age in a black funeral home in Baltimore Sheri Booker was only fifteen when she started working at Wylie Funeral Home in West Baltimore. She had no idea her summer job would become nine years of immersion into a hidden world. Reeling from the death of her beloved great aunt, Sheri found comfort in the funeral home and soon had the run of the place. With AIDS and gang violence threatening to wipe out a generation of black men, Wylie was never short on business. As families came together to bury one of their own, Booker was privy to their most intimate moments of grief and despair. But along with the sadness, Booker encountered moments of dark humor: brawls between mistresses and widows, and car crashes at McDonald's with dead bodies in tow. While she never got over her terror of the embalming room, Booker learned to expect the unexpected and to never, ever cry. Nine Years Under offers readers an unbelievable glimpse into an industry in the backdrop of all our lives.
Funerals to Die For
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 144055708X
Pages: 256
Year: 2013-03-18
View: 1003
Read: 221
True stories that put the, er, "fun" back into funerals! The hereafter may still be part of the great unknown, but with Funerals to Die For you can unearth the rich--and often, dark--history of funeral rites. From getting a portrait painted with a loved one's ashes to purchasing a safety coffin complete with bells and breathing tubes, this book takes you on a whirlwind tour of funeral customs and trivia from all over the globe. Inside, you'll find more than 100 unbelievable traditions, practices, and facts, such as: The remains of a loved one can be launched into deep space for only $1,000. In Taiwan, strippers are hired to entertain funeral guests throughout the ceremony. Undertakers for the Tongan royal family weren't allowed to use their hands for 100 days after preparing a king's body. In the late 1800s, New Englanders would gulp down a cocktail of water and their family member's ashes in order to keep them from returning as vampires. Whether you fear being buried alive or just have a morbid curiosity of the other side, Funerals to Die For examines what may happen when another person dies.
Good Mourning
Author: Elizabeth Meyer
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476783659
Pages: 288
Year: 2015-08-25
View: 429
Read: 1134
Elizabeth Meyer’s “sweet, touching, and funny” (Booklist) memoir reads as if “Carrie Bradshaw worked in a funeral home a la Six Feet Under” (Publishers Weekly, starred review). Good Mourning offers a behind-the-scenes look at a legendary funeral chapel on New York City’s Upper East Side—mixing big money, society drama, and the universal experience of grieving—told from the unique perspective of a fashionista turned funeral planner. Elizabeth Meyer stumbled upon a career in the midst of planning her own father’s funeral, which she turned into an upbeat party with Rolling Stones music, thousands of dollars worth of her mother’s favorite flowers, and a personalized eulogy. Starting as a receptionist, Meyer quickly found she had a knack for helping people cope with their grief, as well as creating fitting send-offs for some of the city’s most high-powered residents. Meyer has seen it all: two women who found out their deceased husband (yes, singular) was living a double life, a famous corpse with a missing brain, and funerals that cost more than most weddings. By turns illuminating, emotional, and darkly humorous, Good Mourning is a lesson in how the human heart grieves and grows—whether you’re wearing this season’s couture or drug-store flip-flops.
Over Our Dead Bodies
Author: Ken McKenzie, Todd Harra
Publisher: Citadel
ISBN: 0806536659
Pages: 256
Year: 2014-05-27
View: 1014
Read: 1104
Not knowing what to do, I sat on the church steps and waited. As the gravity of my failure began to well up in me, I began to cry. . . I Had Lost The Hearse! Funerals and the all the things that accompany them are traditionally somber, contemplative events in which the bereaved look to their undertaker to guide them through that most difficult of times. Of course, sometimes tradition gets thrown under the bus. From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother's wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who has to make it all go as planned--even if it doesn't. Praise for Mortuary Confidential "Curious, wildly honest stories that need to be told, but just not at the dinner table." --Dana Kollmann, author of Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand "As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral." --Joe R. Lansdale "Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book."--Jonathan Maberry, multiple Bram Stoker Award-winning author of They Bite! and Rot & Ruin "These true mortuary tales are poignant--and suddenly, gaspingly, in-your-face funny." --Booklist
The Final Bath
Author: Amber Lenore Winckler
ISBN: 0984273603
Pages: 270
Year: 2009-10-01
View: 1267
Read: 1272
The Final Bath is a story of those who chose to orchestrate by hand the last rite of passage for the rest of us...the last hands to touch us. Young optimistic Louise is a recent graduate of Mortuary Science who begins her journey into a required two-year Embalmer's Apprenticeship. Confident in her education in caring for the dead, Louise struggles to understand, life, love, tragedy, and the common bond that attracts workers to the profession. Unaware at first that the start of her professional life will also coincide with her path toward a spiritual awakening, Louise begins to understand the incredible cycle of life that ends with The Final Bath.
Undertaker Tales: What They Don't Teach You at Mortuary School
Author: Norgus Press
Publisher: Norgus Press
ISBN: 0615545823
Pages: 184
Year: 2011-10-01
View: 255
Read: 422
The Undertaker. After you have breathed your final breath the Undertaker prepares your body for the afterlife. They carry the burden of making you at ease in your new home for all eternity. The stories these brave men and women could tell! We have gathered but a few for you today in these pages. UNDERTAKER TALES IS A FICTIONAL ANTHOLOGY OF HORROR STORIES.
The Upside of Undertaking
Author: Catherine Olen
Publisher: Schiffer Pub Limited
ISBN: 0764335863
Pages: 95
Year: 2010-10-28
View: 218
Read: 1074
Ever wonder what goes on behind closed doors at your local cemetery or funeral home? You won't want to put down this delicious collection of real-life tales of mortuary experiences. Read hilarious stories of the dead and living that will keep you laughing for hours. Catherine Olen has taken a taboo subject in polite society and shows how funny death can be. Discover for yourselves that not every funeral is the serene and dignified event we imagine. Enjoy blunders and bizarre experiences of a longtime mortician, as she exposes foibles in the life of a present-day undertaker. It'll leave you dying for more.
I Died Laughing
Author: Lisa Carlson
Publisher: Libraries Unlimited
ISBN: 0942679253
Pages: 96
Year: 2001
View: 247
Read: 915
This is a very funny book, even though it also includes some serious consumer information. Lisa Carlson has collected cartoons, jokes, funny quotations, humorous last words, and a wide range of other old and new material. As the advice columnist Dear Abby remarked, This book proves that dying can be a laughing matter. At the end of each section, Carlson has a page or two of information and advice for those who may someday have the job of arranging a funeral for a friend or relative, or who may be contemplating the arrangements they prefer when they die.Half the profits from sale of the book will be contributed to the work of the national nonprofit consumer organization, Funeral Consumers Alliance. Several well-known cartoonists and illustrators made their work available in support of this cause: these include P.S. Mueller, Rina Picccolo, and the estate of Edward Gorey.With this short book, you can have a good laugh, learn something in process, and support good cause at the same time.